A little over two years ago in Illinois, I had what I’ll call an “in-body experience.” The day started like any typical Sunday; there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary going on. I woke up, got ready for church, loaded the kids into the van, and went to the early service. Again, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. I found myself in one conversation after another following the first service, and soon it was time for the next one to start. As soon as the service started, my body decided to have a conversation with me. It is not what you are thinking.
The pesky muscle ache between my shoulder blades began to scream. I became light-headed (I know what some of you are thinking). My legs felt rubbery, and my left arm was numbing. So I did two things. First I waited for the symptoms to dissipate; they didn’t. Then I walked to the men’s room, and splashed some water on my face. If you’re wondering why I did that, it’s because The Journal for the Definitive Understanding of the Male Body suggests those two treatments. Don’t try either of them at home, church, or anywhere - they didn’t help a bit, and they never will! I went to the church office, and as I walked in, a good friend asked me if I was O.K. I told him that I thought I was having a heart attack. My friend knew from his own personal experience that you just don’t mess with something like I was experiencing, so he drove me immediately to the E.R. On my way out of the church, I looked into the sanctuary and saw Roxanne playing her saxophone. She was on the worship team that day. I wondered if that would be the last time I saw her here on earth. I didn’t see my kids; they were in their respective kid’s groups. I didn’t have time to find them, and I hated that.
What I experienced was not a heart attack or anything related to the heart; it was anxiety. The doctor who treated me asked me if I had a lot of on-going stressful situations in my life, to which I said yes. I thought I was handling them just fine, but my sitting on an emergency room exam table said otherwise. God, using my body, had been talking to me for quite some time, but I didn’t hear it. To be more truthful, I wasn’t listening to it. Thankfully, I was able to go home that afternoon. I was granted another chance, and I was going to make a concerted effort to listen better. I prayed that God would make a way for me to live better than I had been. He more than made a way; He blessed me with a sabbatical, expanded my circle of friends, and gave me more time than ever with my family.
A little over two weeks ago, I decided to put the word out that I was looking for work again. I made the decision to interrupt the sabbatical God has gifted to me. My same friend, who drove me to the E.R., arranged some long distance work, and a project was e-mailed to me. As I was reviewing the material that was sent, I had another “in-body experience.” This time it wasn’t my physical body speaking so much as it was God’s Holy Spirit living in me. I heard the Holy Spirit quietly asking, “What do you think you are doing? It is not time yet. Your sabbatical is not over.”
In Ecclesiastes 3:1, God speaks that there is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven. Verse 14 in the same chapter speaks that whatever God does is final, and nothing can be subtracted from it or added to it. God’s purpose in this is that people should fear (respect/trust) Him. Having those words laid out before me, I can only say this: “I have no idea what I was thinking when I decided to break the sabbatical, but I’m glad that I heard His Spirit. More so, I’m glad that I listened.” I declined the work; trusting that God will make it clear when it is time for a new season to begin.
I’m not sure how much trouble it was for my friend to arrange the work, and if it will cause him or his associates any grief. I do know that stepping off the path of obedience always causes grief somewhere. I’m sorry to have done that. When I get off the path God has made for me, He will correct me. He usually starts out quietly, but He will raise his voice, and use other means if necessary to get my attention (back spasms, anxiety attacks, etc…).
I prefer responding to God’s whispers. I hope you do too.
Grace to you.
Dave Paukner
